Whoa…I felt like Keanu Reeves after this one. What started out as a trek for Fred and Jarce to check out Knaus Berry Farm ended with all of us stuffed. We went back to our homes and regrouped to watch (or play in Jarce’s case) The Burger Beast Softball get shellacked. But let’s start from the beginning. I receive a text from Fred at 10AM asking if we’re still going to go check out the Mexican Market. I, of course have no clue what Mexican Market he’s talking about. He meant Knaus Berry Farm, which are not Mexican but Dunkers (German baptists which are often confused for Amish). I call up Jarce and he doesn’t answer. I hang up and he’s returning my call. So the plan is: I first pick up Jarce and Luis (roommates in a Bert & Ernie sort of way, just kidding) and then pick up Fred at his friend’s barbershop. We originally considered going to Coral Castle first, but for $9.75 I don’t think so. As we’re arriving at Knaus Berry Farm there’s one thing on our mind, we’re all starving. Problem. The line at Knaus Berry Farm is ridiculously long. Over 30 people in line to buy fresh baked goods. Honestly, we don’t want cinnamon rolls that bad. Group meeting and we’re on our way to Cracker Barrel. We pass a Keg South on the way there, hmm… We call up John and he’s a go to meet us there. This is probably the only time I’ve been to a Cracker Barrel and have been seated right away. As we’re looking over the menus (breakfast and lunch) I suggest we try hitting up Keg South right after. I am met with absolutely no resistance. John will only be joining us for the Cracker Barrel leg of this as he needs to get back to work. Everyone places their order. BB=Bacon Cheeseburger w/Hash Brown Casserole, John=Bacon Cheeseburger w/Hash Brown Casserole, Jarce=Couple Eggs with Sausage, Hash Brown Casserole & French Toast, Luis=Couple Eggs with Bacon & French Toast and Fred=Egg Sandwich w/Hash Brown Casserole & Meatloaf Sandwich.While waiting for our meal, Fred and Jarce play one of those little games with pegs (I have no clue what the name is). They also bust on John who is not here yet. Fred (who is absolutely horrible at games) and Jarce both claim that they left one peg. I’m not buying it. So for your amusement and mine, I asked Jarce to try it again on camera. Before you watch it, I want you to know that he said anyone who leaves three pegs is of average intelligence. John had just arrived at this point so you will hear all of us making comments.

Keg South has three locations: Kendall, Pinecrest and Homestead. They are all independently owned and operated. There are differences in their menus but they all have a Keg Burger. I used to vouch for the Kendall location but Pinecrest is really the way to go. Their wings are way better too. This brings us to Keg South Homestead, which I needed to try to complete the triangle. First thing’s first, Jarce runs to the restroom while Luis is falling asleep. Meanwhile Fred and I are looking over the menu. Once Jarce returns we make the decision to order some appetizers and one burger for the four of us to try. Our waitress is quite the character. In all my years of eating at restaurants, I’ve never had to negotiate for what I wanted to eat. Every time I asked for something she tried to change my mind by suggesting something else. I was actually on the verge of believing there might be a hidden camera somewhere. We decide to order the Onions Petals, Chili Cheese Fries and some wings. You have the option of grilled or fried. 10 fried and 10 grilled. She suggests we order the sauces on the side. Sounds like a good idea. Fred was leaning toward the Honey Apple and Jarce/BB want the Mt. St. Helens. Luis is cool with whatever we choose as long as he gets blue cheese although he doesn’t like the really hot stuff. Too bad for him , huh? Jarce orders a pitcher of Heineken.Time to order the burger. The 1/2 Keg Burger with Cheddar Cheese, Bacon and Mayo is what we want to order but he have some who disagrees. The waitress is insistent we order a different burger. The burger she is trying to push on us has bacon, cheddar cheese, bbq sauce and onion pedals. Guess what? I don’t want that burger. I repeat to her that we want the 1/2 Keg Burger with Cheddar Cheese, Bacon and Mayo. She repeats it back to me, “A 1/2 pound Keg Burger with only Cheddar Cheese, Bacon and Mayo”.
“Do you want lettuce?”: No.
“Do you want tomatos?”: No.
“Do you want onions?” No.
“Do you want ketchup and mustard?”: No.
“So you want a 1/2 pound Keg Burger with only Cheddar Cheese, Bacon and Mayonaisse?”: Yes.
Honestly, it was surreal. Unbelievable even. The Chili Cheese Fries arrive.The fries were covered in Sour Cream, Jalapenos, Onions, Cheese sauce and Chili (with beans unfortunately). This was the best thing was had, hands down. The wings arrive and take a wild guess? The sauce is on them. Fred calls our waitress over and asks why the sauce is on the wings and Luis reminds her about the blue cheese. Something she actually suggested to us. The waitress tells him I asked for them that way. Lol…I decide at that moment to cease all interactions with her. The Onion Pedals arrive and they’re just your stand onion appetizer stuff.The wings, well they suck. They have an odd taste. The sauces on them (just like I ordered, lol) are good. We realize if we grab the Honey Apple wings and dip them in the Mt. St. Helens sauce it makes a better sauce. It still won’t save the flavor of the wing. Plus, it doesn’t stop Fred from eating them.

1. This is not fresh ground sirloin as they claim
2. This doesn’t look like the “Keg Burger” I’m used to.

One bite and I’m right. Average tasting burger at best but the guys seem to disagree:

Famous Burgers? Best Wings in the World? What place are they talking about? And Luis never got his blue cheeese.

Next Stop? Knaus Berry Farm and then later, The Burger Beast Softball Team’s 2nd Game. But that’s for the next post.