Top 5 Things I Don’t Want To See Anymore Of In 2011

It’s always easier to make a Top 5 or Top 10 list of your favorite things, I mean,  last year I did. This year I decided I wanted to do a Top 5 List of things I don’t want to see anymore of in 2011.

1) Slider/Mini Burger Confusion: If one more person confuses a “slider” for a “mini burger” I’m going to have an epic fit. A “slider” is tiny burger with diced onions and steamed buns. The perfect example of this is White Castle, Krystal or Royal Castle. A “mini burger” is just a smaller version of a larger burger . In theory, a slider falls into this category but in turn, a “mini burger” doesn’t fit all the parameters of being a “slider”. So in short, if I see a “slider” on a menu and receive a “mini burger” after I order it, I might have to go and give the chef a Colombian neck tie. End of story.

2) Street Food Burgers: I’m tired of finding out a new Street Food Truck is going to hit the scene and then after reviewing their menu I find out burgers and/or mini burgers/sliders are their main thing. We all know I love burgers but where’s an inventive take on Cuban cuisine or even something like a Mac N’ Cheese Truck (Just throwing that out there and hoping someone bites). How about a Croqueta Truck? Next truck that debuts and has a burger on the menu better have the greatest burger on earth.

3) Extreme Burgers: I can’t say I don’t get excited when I see a Luther Burger but Extreme Burgers are a different breed. Was there ever any reason to create an 150 or 200 pound burger and pretend that someone actually has a chance at conquering it? I tried my hands at Quickie’s 4lb Titan and I can say that you can keep your extreme burgers to yourself. Now if you’re going for a Guinness Book World Record, then maybe you might convince me otherwise.

4) Patty Melt Haters: Let’s give this burger a little more respect. I love Patty Melts and they are burgers regardless of what some burger snobs might say. I think the reason for the hate is even a Patty Melt with a frozen patty can taste great. The reason is that the flavor lies in the grilled onions, cheese (I prefer American) and toasted Rye bread not the burger itself. You want to wax poetic about how great your Japanese Kobe Burger is, great! Please leave me to my IHOP Patty Melt.

5) Nickle and Dimers: Fuck me. I order wings and get the “Would you like Blue Cheese & Celery?” question. It’s like 2 bucks for a tiny container of blue cheese and some celery. I can probably go through one of those containers in like 3 wings. Has blue cheese become such a commodity that it’s the printer ink of wing joints? And don’t get me started on restaurants where you ask for some condiment and you receive such a small quantity that it wouldn’t even cover a piece of Melba toast.

Comments (14):

  1. miamiadguy

    December 28, 2010 at 1:31 PM

    #5 is a real issue with those restaurants that don't even give you the darn bottle. Thee come out with a cafecito cup full of ketchup and expect that will be enough. They just don't get it…

  2. Bryan

    December 28, 2010 at 1:46 PM

    #5 is my biggest issue with Gastropod. Pickles and sauce is extra? You can go Miami style at Jefe`s and get double everything for free.

  3. jeremiah

    December 28, 2010 at 2:13 PM

    Hey Bryan,

    We don't nickle and dime you buddy, it's a dollar world you live in.

    I gotta put diapers on my baby, and shoes on my kid.

  4. MiamiDon

    December 28, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    The horse has already left the barn, Sef. "Slider" now means anything served in a small hamburger bun. It's gone viral, and there's no calling it back.

  5. Urk

    December 28, 2010 at 4:06 PM

    I disagree about the slider. It's more a marketing thing. "Mini Burger" sounds ridiculous and wouldn't sell as well ad sliders which are universally known to be…mini burgers!
    If someone told me to buy a mini burger, I would think…why a mini one? Why not a regular sized? Sounds like I'm getting short-handed. Why sell me 3 mini burgers and not a whole one? However, with sliders you know you're getting a few burgers which will be equivalent to one regular sized burger, but none of the mini bull.
    Besides, slider sounds more pleasing to the ear and the eye. But at the end of the day, who cares what it's called…as long as it's delicious!

  6. Steve

    December 28, 2010 at 4:35 PM

    I agree with all your points but mostly on #2. Seeing a burger on a Food Truck menu is like "ok, what else!"…Where is the Variety! Can I get a BBQ truck, Gyro Truck, or maybe even a Fried Chicken N Waffles Truck! Don't get me wrong, burgers are great but the market is saturated and if you got 3-4 different trucks to choose from… i'm gonna want something different.

  7. WillJogForFood

    December 28, 2010 at 5:33 PM

    TOTALLY agree with number 5! I'm a blue cheese addict. I hate when places charge extra. But they can keep the celery…When i eat wings i dont want any veggie fillers, bleh!

  8. Anonymous

    December 28, 2010 at 7:25 PM

    Can I say that I love Chef Jeremiah standing up for his prices? I personally find nothing wrong with Gastropod…on the contrary, I think they have one of the most freshest trucks in both food and style. Their Bahn Mi Tacos are outstanding and everything else I've tried is bursting with flavor. I'm more than happy to put diapers on his baby as long as he keeps feedin me delicious treats.

  9. gcbron

    December 29, 2010 at 3:03 AM

    #5 – Gastropod lost my business with their extra charge for condiments. There's no excuse for it, it's just cheap.

  10. Bryan

    December 29, 2010 at 2:04 PM

    Just to clarify, I am only commenting on the business practice of charging extra for minor add-ons. I think chef Jeremiah is very talented and I love the food he creates.

  11. Tere

    December 29, 2010 at 4:56 PM

    Amen on #5. Condiments can make or break a meal for some of us, and if you're going to be stingy about it, it's enough to make me not visit again.

  12. Anonymous

    December 29, 2010 at 5:24 PM

    what's next?? charge for extra napkins?

  13. Anonymous

    December 29, 2010 at 9:25 PM

    There will be a 50 cents stand in line fee…followed by a 35 cents take your order fee…and finally 10 cents per napkin fee. Hey I gotta buy toothpaste.

  14. jeremiah

    December 30, 2010 at 4:47 AM

    Hey gcbron,

    I don't need excuses, I tell it like it is. It costs me money to buy good quality ingredients which we use to make garnishes from scratch.

    You must be confused because condiments are free (i.e. ketchup, mustard, srirracha, etc)