If you’ve been reading the Burger Beast food blog or following my exploits on social media, you know I usually grab a meal with friends and family.
Wondering who these folks are? Wonder no more as I give you a breakdown of who they are and how we know each other below.
Burger Beast’s Cast of Characters
Marcela aka Señora Beast
Marcela is my beautiful wife, originally known as Evil Chicken Marcela. She is Nicaraguan, so I’m all about that Fritanga life. Once upon a time, I was her boss when we worked together at Best Buy.
We have been together since July 1998. She suggested I write a food blog and also chose the name Burger Beast. Where you find me, you are more than likely going to find her.
Where does Señora Beast come from? When I created her email address, I named it La Señora Beast, but now it’s just plain ol’ Marcela Beast. When I reference her in conversation with someone who has not met her, I call her La Señora Beast or The Boss.
La Familia
Whenever you find me at events, I am usually with a family member.
Pop, aka Chewy
My dad is the man; ask anyone who has tried his sandwiches. On occasion, he will make a killer Tortilla Española or Boliche (Cuban pot roast).
Where does Chewy come from? The entire family was together for a summer vacation, and we were enjoying chocolate chip cookies. My dad kept mentioning how chewy they were, so the name stuck.
Michelle
My sister, Michelle, is my number two. She understands me in ways that others don’t, but unfortunately for her, she is often on the other end of big brother treatment from me. Her son Juju makes appearances on my social media from time to time.
Mom, aka Big Red
My mom is the most important member of our family; she keeps our family unit together. She is also known for her egg salad, flan and black beans and rice.
Where does Big Red come from? One night, my aunt gave my mom that nickname when we all had dinner together.
Ed, aka Gerther
I met Ed shortly after he moved to Miami from New York. His family had the bad luck of moving to the 305 during the week of Hurricane Andrew.
He and I bonded over our love of movies, notably Army of Darkness. This guy is my bro, which means we always have each other’s backs when it counts.
Where does Gerther come from? Well….um…ask Ed yourself if you ever run across him at one of my events.
Juan, aka Jarce
After a more than 10-year hiatus, Jarce is back to eating with yours truly.
Juan and I worked at MetroPCS for close to two years. He accompanied me on many of my early restaurant visits, including handing out an award at the original Burger Awards in 2009.
I don’t know how I came across this guy, but he’s like a fly buzzing around you who won’t leave you alone.
Jarce description from my blog in 2008
Where does Jarce come from? It’s a combination of Juan‘s first and last name. Plus, if I remember correctly, his login from when we worked together.
Retired Cast of Characters
Fred, aka Chunktronics
Fred is my younger cousin, a seven-year three-month difference, to be exact. I love this guy to death.
He accompanied me on many of my earliest Burger Beast adventures. If you’ve attended Burger Beast Feasts, he was one of the members of #TeamBB. Fred recently moved to Punta Gorda, where he runs the kitchen at Shenanigans.
Where does Chunktronics come from? As far as I can remember, Fred gave himself that name one day and changed all his social media handles to Chunktronics. We all loved it cause it has those retro ’80s vibes attached to it.
John, aka Cow Money
John Colella is another Best Buy connection. We worked together briefly, but John and I didn’t become close friends until 2007 when he was my boss at the MetroPCS store in Coral Gables.
He and I would share ideas about Burger Beast during downtimes. A few months after I launched the blog, he and fellow Miami Meat Machine member Isaac visited Atlanta as part of the first Burger Beast road trip out of Florida.
John is the older brother I wish I had growing up.
Where does Cow Money come from? On one of our many road trips together, John slipped up and claimed that cows were worth about a million each. Ed and I have not allowed that one mistake to go away, so whenever we reference a wealthy person, we always say they have Cow Money.
Miami Meat Machine
The official team members of the Miami Meat Machine are Isaac, Ed, and John, with junior members like Chunktronics and Fredo. I don’t remember where the name came from, but I know it was created to give them an identity as a group.
It was first used on our trip to Ohio to visit White Castle Headquarters, but the name references the Meat Machine from the film Midnight Madness.
Burger Beast Glossary of Terms
When I first created this list in 2008, it was much longer and included all the cast members. The terms you find below are all over the Burger Beast site, and if you ever run into me in person, you are likely to hear a few of them pop up, too.
Apps [āps] is a shortened term for appetizers; the usage of it generally annoys me, but in a time crunch, it is shorter to say and type
Cabrón [ca-brone] is normally not meant as a term of endearment, but I use it as an affectionate way to refer to someone
Churro [choor-oh] are strips of deep-fried dough served in a greasy bag full of sugar, the general idea being that you shake the bag and get as much sugar as possible to stick to them
Croquetas [cro-kay-tas] are meat and seasoning rolled into a stick formation, breaded, and then fried. Ed and I have affectionally nicknamed them Meat Sticks
Fancy Pants [fan-see-pants] is pretty much anyone who thinks they are better than you
Frita [free-tah] is the short term for the Frita Cuban, also known as the Cuban hamburger. Generally, it’s a patty made up of a mix of ground beef and chorizo with Hispanic seasonings
Good Life [gŏŏd-lahyf] is a term I overuse when referring to pretty much anyone, i.e., Well, hello, Mr. Good Life!
I belive it! [I-belive-it] meaning just what it does except using my father’s pronunciation, used to agree with a comment, a favorite of mine
Westchester [Weh-ches-té] is my hometown, which I unnecessarily mention whenever the opportunity presents itself, including on a Travel Channel episode of Burger Land